o Time for a Break...

o The Web Cam Explosion

o How To Clean Your Computer Pro

o How's Your e-Shorthand?

o I Spy - Too Many Icons!

o Maybe You Don't Need Glasses

o Hot Tip - quick address access
________________________________________

TIME FOR A BREAK...
________________________________________

SHORTLY after typing the famous last words 'So watch this
space - this saga is bound to continue...' (I had actually been
bragging about sorting out my freezing PC) in the January issue
of this ezine, the said PC went into a freezing frenzy and for the
next four months was out of action most of the time.

Frankly the PC is lucky to have survived because I came close to
fixing it, permanently, with an axe - I think that was the day I had to
reboot it three times before managing to download about ten
email messages.

Which is why Newbies, Nerds & Nitwits has been missing from
your mailboxes. I tried - but failed - on countless occasions and
no-one else was able to fix the flaming PC. Furthermore no-one
has fixed it but about a week ago it began behaving almost
normally so it's all systems go - again.

Of course I could have lied and let you all think the ezine was
being blocked by your ISPs - apparently some ezines are having
terrible problems 'getting through' - but honesty is usually the best
policy. Even if being honest makes me appear an absolute fool!

In the meantime my partner in crime, Pam Allen, has been forging
ahead investigating Web Cams. While I sat gnashing my teeth
and wishing we didn't live at opposite ends of the earth because
Pam is very handy with spanners and things and I'm sure she
could have dealt successfully with my recalcitrant computer, given
half a chance. (So don't forget to visit the SOS PAM section at
NewbiesAnd Nitwits.com when you need some
assistance.)

Apart from web cams this issue also deals with cleaning your
computer and improving the look of your desktop - plus the usual
tips. And this time I wont sign off with any famous last words.

Just, please, keep holding your thumbs,

(You can read this ezine, online, at
NewbiesAndNitwits.com)
____________________________________

FREE TUTORIALS BY AUTORESPONDER

If you are thinking about making your own web page, or
merely want to exercise your brain slightly, then send for
the web page tutorials by clicking
Web Page

Want to find files fast ?- then click Files

Organising your computer - click Organise
____________________________________

POIGNANT PEARLS & POTBELLIED PIGS - a
monthly ezine packed with original and amusing
articles, which will remind you not to take yourself
too seriously. To subscribe click
PearlsAndPigs
Or, if you're wary of pigs in pokes, surf to
SheldeneChant.com to find out more.
_______________________________________________

THE WEB CAMERA EXPLOSION
Pam Allen reports
_______________________________________________

IN the last few years, the popularity of web cameras, or 'cams' for
short, has skyrocketed. Due to the proliferation of internet
pornography, most people associate web cams with live X-rated
action. While cams are definitely a major part of the new porn,
they also play an important role in more mundane activities.

A decent cam can be purchased for around $20.00 now, and
they're incredibly simple to install. Run the included CD, put the
cam into a USB port, and you're all set.

Like most people, I wondered exactly what in the heck I would
use a web cam for, so the one that was included with my
computer sat idle for over a year. Then, thanks to a post on a
forum I frequent, I discovered a site called Anywebcam.com
which would probably be technically called an adult site.

Boasting almost a million members, there are a few thousand
with web cams. Yes, some of them are definitely in the X-rated
category, but just as many are PG or G rated. There's a large
community of people who frequent the chat rooms (or the trivia
competition room, which is where I stay), and they just enjoy
seeing who they're chatting with. It makes otherwise impersonal
typed letters a little more 'real'.

A similar site is jmeeting.com which was started by
disgruntled former patrons of Anywebcam.com. Both sites are
free, though Anywebcam.Com does offer a tiered subscription
program that allows you to view more than a single cam, start
your own chat room, and have a guest book on your profile page.
Handy if you need extra frills, but the free membership is more
than adequate for most needs.

Yahoo Instant Messenger provides free, fast cam connections, so
if you have family and friends scattered throughout the world, with
a microphone and speakers, or an integrated headset, you can
add voice as well. The end result is an extremely passable
version of the futuristic video phone.

Think how wonderful this would be for elderly people or shut-ins!
They could actually see and hear far flung relatives, and feel like
they're still a part of the outside world.

Yahoo also has chat rooms and game rooms, where you can talk
or compete against others, and be able to see who's on the other
end. Yes, adding additional goodies to the computer does
increase the amount of time spent online. But like any other
hobby, it's how you use it that's important .

Using the new gadgets to communicate with people who are part
of your life is a great way to bring everyone closer together, and
enrich everyone's life. Just don't use up time that should be
devoted to real life family and friends by spending hours with
people that are otherwise strangers to you.

Use the internet to remain close to the people you care about,
and your life can be truly enriched!

Copyright 2003 Pam Allen
____________________________
Pam Allen, co-webmistress at NewbiesAndNitwits.com
has another site QuickDecor.com - featuring
speedy and inexpensive decorating ideas.
_________________________

EVERYTHING AT YOUR FINGERTIPS

The new PC and Internet Companion is specifically designed
to be used as ...

A comprehensive in-depth course,

AND

An occasional learning center to be dipped into as time
permits,

AND

The ultimate reference library to refer to whenever you come
across a PC or Internet problem you don't understand.

That's why it's called Companion, because you can have it
on your PC desktop, ready at all times to delve into as
and when you wish. Take a look now at
NewbieClub.com
____________________________________

IMPORTANT INFORMATION
For those who receive this ezine via TOPICA and
NOT from NewbiesAndNitwits.com -
please click on the Topica link which appears in the
footer at the end of each issue should you no
longer wish to receive it. (Of course I hope you
won't do that).

_____________________________________

NN&N BACK ISSUES
To view all previous issues of Newbies, Nerds & Nitwits
go to:NewbiesRead

- and don't forget to visit the Newbies, Nerds & Nitwits
website, often - for stacks of information, to get help from
Pam Allen if you have computer problems and to read
the most recent issues:-
NewbiesAndNitwits.com
_________________________________________

HOW TO CLEAN YOUR COMPUTER INSIDE AND OUT
by Angie Boldwyn
_________________________________________

Cleaning The Outside Of Your Computer:

Gather the following supplies:

* Two 100% cotton cloths

* A spray bottle with cleaning liquid such as a small amount
of dish detergent. No ammonia based liquids should be used
around electronic equipment. Static Free Computer Cleaner
is recommended.

* Cotton swabs
* Several 3x5 index cards or pieces of tagboard
* Toothpick (plastic if possible)
* Toothbrush

Always log out (IBM) or shut down (Mac) the computer
before starting to clean the machines.

Unplug the keyboard and mouse from the machine. Be careful
when pulling out the cables. Always pay close attention to
where you unplug the cables.

Begin with the monitor:

Check and be sure that the cloth is clean and free of any
particles that could scratch the screen.

Always spray the cloth, not directly onto the computer.

Watch to see that you aren't spraying the liquid at
someone or near your own face.

Clean the screen first. Wipe the monitor going around the
whole screen. Be sure to clean the small lip that frames the
glass section. Look carefully to see that it isn't streaked
when you're finished.

Now wipe the plastic case:

Clean the lips of the CD Rom drive and the disk drive.

When cleaning the top, back and sides, wipe the areas that
allow air to circulate. Optional: a small vacuum cleaner
can be used to get more dust out of circulation vents.

How to clean the keyboard:

Tip the keyboard over gently. Tap the keyboard and watch
the dust & paper particles drop on the counter. Don't hit it
too hard, but don't be afraid to tap it to loosen the dust
particles.

Clean the frame. A little extra rubbing may be needed on
the spacebar, Enter (IBM) and Return (Mac) keys.

Wrap one finger with the cloth and walk the keyboard,
going over each individual key.

Spray a cotton swab. Use your fingers to wring it out so
it's not too wet. Use it to go between the rows and clean
the sides of the keys.

Optional: All Keys with the exception of the space key can
be removed and cleaned. Be careful and remember to spray
your cloth, not your keyboard.

Cleaning the mouse is vital:

Remember: spray the cloth first.

Clean the outside of the mouse. This is done by taking an
index card and folding it in half vertically. The small
open ridge around the mouse is a dirt collector. Use the
index card and go into the ridge area and remove the dirt.

Turn the mouse over and remove the plastic plate at the
bottom (The arrows usually tell you which way the plate
comes off). Use the toothpick to get the dirt off the wheels
on the inside that the trackball uses.

Spray the rag again, place the ball into the rag and clean
the track ball.

Re-assemble the mouse.

Clean the workspace:

Use the toothbrush to dust off the mouse pad.

Lift up the keyboard and mouse. Clean the areas they rest on.

Lift the monitor and clean behind and under it; repeat the
process for the CPU.

Reconnect the keyboard and mouse:

Now, reboot the machine (turn the power back on) and be sure
that the monitor, CPU, keyboard & mouse are all working
properly.

Clean The Inside Of Your Computer (PC):

A cluttered computer can cause you unnecessary interruptions
and problems.

Go through your document files and software and delete or
uninstall those you no longer use or are outdated.
Note: If you're unsure whether your computer will run
efficiently without a software program, it's best to leave
it on the computer.

Scan Disk. Click Start, Programs, Accessories, System Tools,
Scan Disk. Choose the thorough option and check the 'automatic
fix errors' box.

Defrag Your Computer. This can speed up your computer
considerably. If you have never done this before, it can
take a few hours. After that, do it regularly (such as weekly)
and it will take just 10 minutes or so. Click Start, Programs,
Accessories, System Tools, Disk Defragmenter. It will ask you
if you'd like to defragment Drive C, D, or E (depending on
your computer), click yes or OK.

Disk CleanUp: Click Start, Programs, Accessories, System
Tools,Disk Cleanup. Select the drive you want to clean up, usually
drive C. Then check the boxes for Temporary Internet Files,
Recycle Bin, and Temporary Files. Click OK to delete these files.

Disclaimer: I have used these techniques myself over and over
with no problems and trust that you will do the same but I
cannot accept the responsibility if something goes wrong
with your computer. Use and follow these instructions carefully.

Good luck!

(c) 2003 Angie Boldwyn
_______________
Report Compliments Of...
Angie Boldwyn - Successful Life Enterprises
Contact Email Angie
Webmaster www.slife.com
__________________________

REGISTRY FOR NEWBIES
So you're not such a Newbie after all? Like to know what
makes Windows act the way it does? Then this ebook will
give you a quick, easy understanding of your PC's Brain. It's
called 'The Registry For Newbies' and you can read all about
it Here...
___________________________________

HOW'S YOUR E-SHORTHAND?
____________________________________

QSL - reply
QT - cutie

R - are
RFC - request for comment
REHI - hello again
ROTFL - rolls on the floor laughing
ROFLUTS - ROTFL unable to speak
RSN - real soon now
RTM - read the manual
RTSM - read the stupid manual

*s* - smile
SFETE - smiling from ear to ear
*sb* - smiles back
SITD - still in the dark
SOHF - sense of humor failure
SO - significant other
SOS - same old stuff
SW - shareware
SWAK - seal with a kiss
SWL - screaming with laughter
SWMBO - she who must be obeyed
SYL - see you later
SYSOP - system operator

(More email acronyms in the
next issue)
__________________________________

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______________________________________
Newbie Club Tutorial

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE - TOO MANY ICONS!
by Joe Robson
______________________________________

SO you have 25 icons in your system tray. So what? So
they're eating your computer's memory like rats chewing
through Internet cables.

System Tray: That area 'down there' in the lower right
corner of your screen where the clock sits.

Each icon represents a program that's running silently in
the background. A 'TSR'... Terminate and Stay Resident. A
'TSR' is a program that starts up when you turn on your
computer, then terminates (you don't see it) but stays
resident in memory.

And it uses up resources! (A resource is a special place in
memory that is easily wasted.)

Check your resources now. Right click on My Computer, choose
'Properties', then click the 'Performance' tab.

What is the percentage of free resources? 45? 65? 80? If
your computer is like most folks, you'll have maybe 45
percent free.

Which of course means over half of your system's brains are
being clogged. And that's why your system may freeze up,
lock up, fall apart, or collapse. No amount of CPR or
Advanced Computer Life Support will cure it.

The only way to 'fix' your computer's resource problem is to
reboot... that is, restart.

How can you stop all the 'TSR's from loading when you power
up?

If you have Windows 98 or later, you can use MSCONFIG.
Instead of writing a lengthy bit on how to use it, please
send a blank email to: msconfig@fastresponder.com or click
on MsConFig

You'll get our report on how to use the Utility, as well as
a link to a site that tells you what you can disable. By
'Utility' I don't mean Pacific Gas and Electric. I mean
MSCONFIG. It's called a utility. It's a little program that
does big things for you.

(c)2003 Roglan International
____________________
NEED A FRIENDLY, HELPING HAND?..
Frustrated and confused about PCs and the Internet?
Sick of feeling like a patronized, second class citizen?
The Newbie Club will treat you with the respect you
deserve and teach you all you need to know with their
revolutionary free Learning System. Click over NOW
and change your PC and Net experience forever.
NewbieClub
_____________________________________________

MAYBE YOU DON'T NEED GLASSES
_____________________________________________

CHANGE the look of your desktop by changing the size and font
of the text. ( This is particularly beneficial if you've been having
trouble reading the names of all those icons.)

Right click on any empty space on your desktop, then choose
Properties from the pop-up menu.

Next click on the Appearance tab, then click the drop down menu
called Item - and choose Icon.

Using the drop down menu labled Font you can select your new
font and the size. Click Apply -->OK

____________________________________

Please RECOMMEND Newbies, Nerds & Nitwits to a friend!
Simply click Cumuli.com
____________________________________

*-------------------HOT TIP------------------- *

WHEN you need an email address but are in too much
of a hurry to wait for your MS email client to open, you can access
your Microsoft Outlook and Outlook Express addresses by
clicking Start--> Run, then typing 'wab' (without the quotes), and
pressing Enter..

* --------------------HOT TIP------------------- *

FREE EZINES Find hundreds of quality, FREE Ezines at
Cumuli Ezine Finder
____________________________________________

Copyright 2003 NEWBIES, NERDS & NITWITS All Rights
Reserved
____________________________________________

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    __________Signature File________

             Editor/Publisher: Sheldene Chant
              6 Strapp Lane, Amanzimtoti 4126,
              KwaZuluNatal, South Africa.
              Send eMail
________________________________________